School’s a month away. The novelty of summer has worn away and the heat is playing with everyone’s peace of mind. Your children’s discontent can seem multiplied by a million when you are going through a divorce. You may already feel a bit fried around the edges with both your patience and your temper running short. Your tendency might be to take it out on whoever is nearby which my likely be your kids or your soon to be ex.
Don’t! What is most damaging to kids going through a divorce (and all kids for that matter) is their parents fighting and anger.
Handling you own frustration and anger is vital in creating a safe home atmosphere for you and the kids. Kids learn how to handle their frustration and anger by your example. Play with the kids but also take care of you. Balance times of being together and being apart. Everyone could benefit from some quiet time during the hottest parts of the day. Bring out the sprinkler, a cold watermelon, play outside and go to the pool early in the day or late in the evening. Drink tons of water – sugary drinks and soft drinks don’t hydrate the body as well. In the middle of the day go to the library, watch a movie or just stay inside.
Make a list of summer activities various members of the family enjoy – ask the kids for suggestions. Also explain that because of cost or time not every thing on the list is going to happen. Choose what best fits your family. Don’t make promises you can’t deliver. Make certain to include free or low cost items so the kid’s don’t think you always have to spend money to have a good time.
I empower parents to handle their anger and frustration in healthy ways.
Give me a call.
Until next time,
Amy Barnes MA MBA LMHC