Category Archives: Divorce coach

Your Choice

by Amy Barnes

To divorce or separate may or may not have been your choice. I do believe we each have before us a much bigger, even more important choice. How do I choose to live my life now? Do I choose to live my life as a victim or as a creator? A victim is at the effect of what happens. A creator looks at what has happened and make decisions on what to do and what can happen now.

Who is in charge of my life now? After my divorce I gave up my power. I had given up my power many years before. I can’t blame that on my ex. I thought that was something women were supposed to do. I didn’t understand that I had a choice. You can’t make a choice if you do not know you have one.

The most powerful lesson I have learned is that we always have a choice. As a creator I can make choices about what will happen. Sometimes we can’t see it. Sometimes we don’t even know that a choice exists. I believe we have all the answers inside us but like buried treasure sometimes the answers get lost and we need support in finding them. As a coach I can support you in finding your voice and finding those answers deep within you.

The most important thing I found was my voice. I leaned who I was and what I wanted. I learned how to speak up for myself. I am responsible for my life. It is up to me to decide what and who I want in my life. I have the power to make things happen.

I have a choice. For years after my divorce I stayed a victim. Now I know I have a choice. I choose to be a creator and not a victim. I want to also support you in feeling empowered to have a choice. I support you in having a choice and creating what is best for your life.

Yes, you always have a choice.

Until next time,

Amy Barnes, MA MBA LMHC
Certified Relationship and Body Centered Coach

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After Divorce: Thrive or Survive

I’m writing a divorce book for those who don’t like divorce books. This book is for those who are willing to accept the fact that they are getting divorced and willing to move forward with their lives and willing to thrive after divorce. I am not sure that after my divorce I would have been ready for such a book. I was so stuck in my pity party, victimhood, blamer role, just barely surviving, that I did not even understand that I had another option.

You are welcome to choose whether you want to stay in your own pity party, victim, blamer role or move beyond divorce. It is you choice. You get to choose.
I’m not suggesting that you wake up tomorrow morning and everything is wonderful. I am suggesting that healing and thriving after divorce is a process. A process that you can choose.

You do not need to continue to be entangled with your ex or continue to blame your ex (whether from a marriage, long term relationship or domestic partnership) for your current unhappiness.

You also don’t need to have a clue how to do this. All I ask is your willingness In accepting that this might be a possibility for you. Your future depends on it.

If you are currently in the process of a divorce I can support you, if you are willing, in getting through it and coming out better on the other side.

Until next time,

Amy Barnes, MA MBA LMHC
Certified Relationship and Mind Body Coach